"I'm the only guy that could do it too"
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Dead friends, dear friends, and two friends that killed one another off.
When I met a woman once, I was excited to learn the side of literature she would teach me - for when I met her, philosophy and theology were my main choices, while poetry and fiction were secondary, lest they tended towards the afore mentioned subjects; she on the other hand, had poetry literally locked into her body. So this was very exciting, we could both become better rounded - a mutual, and probably common desire - at least for the type of individuals that would attract us both.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
"Cause what is dancing/ Making love set to music playin" - Franky Sinatra
There is a thin line between Love and Hate
Last year I was going to go to Paris - didn't work out; I was also working towards a trip which would have provided the opportunity for Geneva, Switzerland with a surprise trip over to Paris and then Italy (a surprise for my companion) - also did not work out...on both counts.
I wasn't all that concerned with Italy when I overherad my friends speaking this morning about the trip I'm not going to be able to take. Her air (Italy) I've already taken in and it is very close inside me, near my heart somewhere I'm sure - the air is so sweet! In fact, it's the air that helps me understand what Rumi says about taking "sips of breath" - it really was like I was drinking the air. mmm.
But Paris, you and me madam, are getting of to some start here; first you promise me romance and Ray Lamontagne - I dreamt of engagement on your tower; then you give me an onslaught of memories for things that never happened, and even a language writers, and artists, and lovers must know! I had you framed incorrectly in my mind due to my small dealings with you in my youthful trips back home, some of your people were rude to my mother [I still growl for her to you] - then you took on a new light, you became half the soul of a soul whom I attempted giving my own (or something...I don't know) - thereafter I realized how much you influenced things I loved, I even played a role as a Prince that built your roads.
Then you said no to everything. Now you seduce me again, overheard conversation about you comes, slipping into my ear and your shadows fill my body. You don't leave me alone Paris, and some part of me already hates you without knowing you intimately. I don't like you madam, you remind me of what's lost - and still, you make me desire you! You won't leave me alone! So get ready future sweetheart, for I am going to come to you and have my revenge. I will enjoy your food and your history, I will converse fluidly in your language, I will embrace the memories of those things which never occured, those hopes which you laughingly tore into pieces - I will hold those tortures and splinters within the hopes and future memories of our solitary union. I will have my romance with you Paris, you yourself will wipe away the ink blots that you yourself spill inside my heart and mind. If you won't leave me alone, then fine, I won't leave you alone - I'm coming to get you baby, and you'll have my growl as love.
Animal
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Long Way Coming
So Hotmail, we meet again...again
If you're keeping any tabs, you'll know Hotmail and I were close friends for eight years - then it began changing on me; sending random emails sent out using my name, I had to put a stop to it. But alas! I stopped even myself from getting in - then this morning, hark! What's this! An email, from the God's of Hotmail, "You have three days to do this, and you only have once change" - I felt as if that one email would explode lest I not complete my task in time - and perfectly! "We have verified your contents" - good thing I used to use it to chat. All the old subject headings for personal emails still jostling about my 'aching mind' - information crucial to verifying ones account. What's your pets name!? What's your fathers involvement with the KGB!? Where were you born!? So many questions, it never ended, but this was for Hotmail, and the morphine they gave me, kept me an open book....
Delete cookies, delete files, "Clear the cache!!!" They yelled as a battle cry guarding the email trolls approach the castle of my Hotmail account; link, copy - paste - reset - and inevitably....victory!
Now if this happens to you (or me again!) we'll need to verify our account, and finding that link is a bitch. So I’ve posted it below for us. Let us go forth, and conquer the emails troll hunters.
https://support.live.com/eform.aspx?productKey=wlidvalidation
Monday, March 22, 2010
An expression of excited passion by Lord Byron called...
Still dwelling in my Highland cave,
Or roaming through the dusky wild,
Or bounding o'er the dark blue wave;
The cumbrous pomp of Saxon pride
Accords not with the freeborn soul,
Which loves the mountain's craggy side,
And seeks the rocks where billows roll.
Fortune! take back these cultured lands,
Take back this name of splendid sound!
I hate the touch of servile hands,
I hate the slaves that cringe around.
Place me among the rocks I love,
Which sound to Ocean's wildest roar;
I ask but this - again to rove
Through scenes my youth hath known before.
Few are my years, and yet I feel
The world was ne'er designed for me:
Ah! why do dark'ning shades conceal
The hour when man must cease to be?
Once I beheld a splendid dream,
A visionary scene of bliss:
Truth! - wherefore did thy hated beam
Awake me to a world like this?
I loves - but those I love are gone;
Had friends - my early friends are fled:
How cheerless feels the heart alone,
When all its former hopes are dead!
Though gay companions o'er the bowl
Dispel awhile the sense of ill'
Though pleasure stirs the maddening soul,
The heart - the heart - is lonely still.
How dull! to hear the voice of those
Whom rank or chance, whom wealth or power,
Have made, though neither friends nor foes,
Associates of the festive hour.
Give me again a faithful few,
In years and feelings still the same,
And I will fly the midnight crew,
Where boist'rous joy is but a name.
And woman, lovely woman! thou,
My hope, my comforter, my all!
How cold must be my bosom now,
When e'en thy smiles begin to pall!
Without a sigh would I resign
This busy scene of splendid woe,
To make that calm contentment mine,
Which virtue know, or seems to know.
Fain would I fly the haunts of men -
I seek to shun, not hate mankind;
My breast requires the sullen glen,
Whose gloom may suit a darken'd mind.
Oh! that to me the wings were given
Which bear the turtle to her nest!
Then would I cleave the vault of heaven,
To flee away, and be at rest.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Thuggery
Untitled for now - suggest titles if you wannnaaaaaaaaaa.
There’s a love I feel/ unlike I’ve seen before
And I know what it is/ cause I know where I been
You can’t know what I mean/ cause you’re not around
But this love, this love/ this love, this love is what I wish we had now
The moon she keeps smiling/ telling me to go home
And the stars, they keep shining/ reminding me I’m not alone
And you can’t know what I mean/ cause you’re not around
But this love, this love/ this love, this love is what I wish we had now
What I wish we had now
What I wish we had now
What I wish we had now
Golden flames still holding on/ relics of a setting sun
The winds blow warm again/ on cold nights beloved one
And you can’t know what I mean/ cause I'm not around
But this love, this love/ this love, this love is what I wish we had now
What I wish we had now
What I wish we had now
What I wish we had now
-Spout & The Freshwater
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
"When you have insomnia, everything is a copy, of a copy, of a copy..." - Narrator
So Hotmail, we meet again
My email got phished, so I updated my security settings on my hotmail. I forgot my password, answered my security questions, and then have been blocked out for like a month. Nothing seems to help me and I've had that email for like 8 years. If any of you know anyone else who can help; or if you're a passerby on this blog surfing the net then help me - being Indian you'd think I could call my bretheren and insta-fix it - but alas, no, I'm just fucked.
Monday, March 15, 2010
A Natural Disaster (thanks Pablo Neruda)
Stony face looks back at me/ I wonder why.../ The Fire Dancers seem at peace/ I watch them smile.../ My name is Volcano - nice to meet you ocean breeze. A new dress falls to the ground/ I wonder why.../A full mouth wants me around/ I watch it smile.../ My name is Desire, nice to meet you seven seas. And I wish I could, let you come with me. And I wish I could let you, let you come with me. I love you as dark things should be loved/ I don't know why.../So I drop my roses and I get up/ I guess I smile.../My name is Tornado, nice to meet you memory. And I wish I could let you, let you come with me/ I wish I could let you come with me.
-Spout & The Freshwater
Just about anything in the world for you
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Out of sight, and mind, and body.
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Logic Logic Logic! Blah! To hell with logic; is it not said that, "The heart has it's reasons which reason cannot know?" - Pascal
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My mouths beauty says more than beautiful words.
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Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Bold as Love
I used to clean my house with this song -blaring-back when I first moved out when I was 16 years old. My little apartment in Minot, ND. Especially when the weather changed, similar to how it is now in Ohio. Springtime sun as a break from the overwhelming winters (not as bad in Ohio). I can imagine it as if I watch someone else, my windows open, sun streaming lighting up the dust, baggy clothes and the consistent smell of old smoke and sometimes incense. I thought I knew so much. Like I wouldn't even think about how much I knew because I 'knew' so much. Alas, this means I just didn't think most of the time; or rather, I didn't consider and watch my thoughts - thinking doesn't generally stop till death, it's just what we do with the thinking right?
anyways, I'm reminiscing and that isn't the point. I've missed writing on here (blog) but mostly I've just been writing songs and I keep those close. I have been working on aphorisms and poetic philosophy but it's all bleh and eh; the spring time is nice, and the rain will be a welcome change from the gusty winter.
So the post initially began because I was thinking of this song; the lyrics are amazing and 11 years later I love it more, I appreciate it with new eyes. When I'm sixty four I wonder how I'll consider this song? Besides the obviously inspired lyrics, the music is staggeringly good. I almost can't blare it anymore because I'm instantly transported back in time. Songs have a funny way of doing that. But with enough meditation I guess (i'm told) we can lose our heads so that memories are just other thoughts floating by and we can pick to play with them or not, to enjoy them or to treasure them, and then to let them go again. thoughts like feathers. Buncha birds flappin.
check out the lyrics, and then listen to the song my friends, its absolute silk for the ears and water for the heart and soul - or something like that...
See you where we're all Bold as Love dudes,
"ANGER! HE SMILES TOWERING IN SHINY METALLIC PURPLE ARMOUR QUEEN JEALOUSY ENVY WAITS BEHIND HIM HER FIREY GREEN GOWN SNEERS AT THE GRASSY GROUND BLUE ARE THE LIFE-GIVING WATERS TAKEN FOR GRANTED THEY QUIETLY UNDERSTAND ONCE HAPPY TURQUOISE ARMIES LAY OPPOSITE READY BUT WONDER WHY THE FIGHT IS ON BUT THEY ALL BOLD AS LOVE YEAH THEY ALL BOLD AS LOVE YEAH THEY ALL BOLD AS LOVE JUST ASK THE AXIS MY RED IS SO CONFIDENT HE FLASHES TROPHIES OF WAR AND RIBBONS OF EUPHORIA ORANGE IS YOUNG FULL OF DARING BUT VERY UNSTEADY FOR THE FIRST GO 'ROUND MY YELLOW IN THIS CASE IS NOT SO MELLOW IN FACT I'M TRYING TO SAY IT'S FRIGHTENED LIKE ME AND ALL THESE EMOTIONS OF MINE KEEP HOLDING ME FROM UH GIVING MY LIFE TO A RAINBOW LIKE YOU BUT I'M UH YEAH I'M BOLD AS LOVE YEAH YEA-AHWELL I'M BOLD, BOLD AS LOVE HEAR ME TALKING GIRLI'M BOLD AS LOVEJUST ASK THE AXIS HE KNOWS EVERYTHINGYEAH, YEAH, YEAH"
Oh how I love my country
I can't really know the experience of watching this without a) knowing what he's saying and b) seeing it first hand. The way Indians are just generally completely unconcerned with personal space is jarring and awesome. They're concered with it, but what are you gonna do, there's only so much room dude.
It's as if that much population and that little space creates a familiarity with anyone and everyone and the idea of keeping one's own space is respected, except that it's a laughable fantasy for probably 99% of the population.
Monday, March 8, 2010
"To hear with eyes belongs to love's fine wit." - Shakespear, Sonnet XXIII
Sunday, March 7, 2010
What that says
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
"We are unique variations of eachother" The Madman Laughs at Everything - Section One
The poverty in India stayed with me. Each year I go back I see the same children and families growing older, coming up to the same people they watch change and evolve at the same stop lights. I remember some anxiety or sadness when one little girl didn't come up after a few days of being there; the brothels and murder are real options to these people.
I never feel I do enough, and I frankly don't do enough, but I also don't know what that means. I guess if I don't lend my whole life and entire existence to such cause (poverty, fresh water, education, etc.) then I feel I am doing nothing even if I'm taking care of those around me to my best ability.
Poverty strikes me very deeply, images of old men coated in pollution sitting naked in the middle of the hustle and bustle of those who showered and ate rise to my minds surface quickly. The blind man with leprosy and his old wife getting older each year - sometimes they have a new can they hang on the bandaged nub where what's left of his hand is - that nub gets smaller each year. The young girls holding their naked and crying siblings. Watching those siblings grow.
I remember seeing them turn down jobs offered by my grandparents and take the whips that hands from other cars would throw out; I even saw my uncles side of the family do it once and it was very jarring to me. Cops get in on this as well - the refuse, the unwanted, the pests - the image of that old man staring blankly in blistering heat sitting amongst the hustle and bustle comes to mind. I wonder if he was just waiting to die.
I went for a laugh today to a site called 'Friends of Irony' (linked the name for you) - and there I found this pic - and though ironic, made me sad that this could even be on a site dedicated to giving little mini laughs to get you through some lulls...or whatever, that's what I use it for (and there are others too!). So no fault of the site, but of the culture that accepts this reality; I don't know, I've been told I'm idealistic - but I've been told by The Madman who laughs at Everything that "An Idealist is a person with an idea, and a list" - Madness 27:10
So instead here's the picture of irony with a quote that frames it properly. Now to make a list. Number one, write out emotions in blog article to clear head - done. On our way! Yipee!
"When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her. It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed." - Mother Teresa
Monday, March 1, 2010
Wet Roses Dripping
Poetry began making sense to me
I want you to know one thing/You know how this is/ If I look at the crystal moon/ At the red branch of the slow autumn at my window/ If I touch near the fire the impalpable ash/ Or the wrinkled body of the log/ Everything carries me to you/ As if everything that exists - aromas, light, metals/ Were little boats that sail toward those isles of yours that wait for me/ Well, now/ If little by little you stop loving me/ I shall stop loving you little by little/ If suddenly/ You forget me/ Do not look for me/ For I shall already have forgotten you/ If you think it long and mad, the wind of banners, that passes through my life/ And you decide/ To leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots/ Remember/ That on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms/ And my roots will set off to seek another land/ But, if each day, each hour, you feel that you are destined for me/ With implacable sweetness/ If each day a flower climbs up to your lips to seek me/ Ahh my love, ahh my own, in me all that fire is repeated/ In me nothing is extinguished or forgotten/ My love feeds on your love, beloved/ And as long as you live, it will be in your arms without leaving mine
Bob Dylan Revisited
"A Hard Rains-A-Gonna Fall"
"Blowin' in the Wind"
"Here comes the story of the Hurricane"
There are also interpretations of "Desolation Row" "Blind Willie McTell" "Lay Lady Lay" (a very short interpretation) "Girl From the North Country" (could've cried looking at it but was in bookstore so flipped page) "I Want You" and others. These are the ones that I remember on my quick run through (didn't have time to sit and soak in it). Each song I can see in my mind and was a little experience as the jukebox of my brain sang the words I was reading. Then too I would sometimes try to read it as words and not hear the song - that was a cool little experience too.
The work can't quite attain the imagery Bobby's words evoke (if you are a person so inclined I guess) but it's a neat little thing to at least go look through. It would have to be more of a gift for me (at $25) but a gift I would totally totally dig.