Where I've Been

Here's a little practice



I'm not from around here/ and you don't know where I've been/ all that you see surround me/ is something I'm passing through as I begin//Don't you understand what I'm doing?/I'm learning how to let you in/ it's dangerous I know I could affect you/ it's something we're passing through till it ends//I'm not from around here/ and you don't know where I've been/ all that you see surround me/ is something I'm passing through as I begin//Do you understand me now?/ I want to be close or I'll go without/ as a man growing wise shows you the love in his eyes/ baby you brought my heart back to life//I'm not from around here/ and you don't know where I've been/ all that you see surround me/ is something I'm passing through as I begin//I'm not from around here/ and you don't know where I've been/ all that you see surround me/ is something I'm passing through as I begin.

I met a young woman whose body was burning.

And what did you hear, my blue-eyed son ? / And what did you hear, my darling young one ?
I heard the sound of a thunder, it roared out a warnin'/ I heard the roar of a wave that could drown the whole world
I heard one hundred drummers whose hands were a-blazin' / I heard ten thousand whisperin' and nobody listenin'
I heard one person starve, I heard many people laughin' / Heard the song of a poet who died in the gutter
Heard the sound of a clown who cried in the alley / And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard / And it's a hard rain's a-gonna fall.

-B. Dylan

Maybe I'm not Listening.

A Sense of Touch

There it is, still standing, in the shadows of the mountains.

A Sigh

Sometimes, only at 28 years of age, I feel like I gave up on life "when I was younger".

I also sometimes, sometimes, think I'm not nearly 'cool enough' --meaning that I gave up on voraciously following my interests and now have tarnish over my talents, with no time to scrub if off and shine.

Most of the time I think I think of myself too much.

God save me from myself.

Sigh.

Also please note, the translation is incorrect in the video. What they are saying is, "Hey friend, these are for you"

A Prayer

A prayer, Madeleine Peyroux from pomerenge on Vimeo.

Lord
I must be strong now
I don't belong now
In this world anymore

I'll say a final prayer for
Those I care for
Who've kept my company

My destiny is clear
I'm dying to have you near
To me

Lord
I don't belong now
If you are waiting
I am not afraid to die

I'm prepared to go
Divide my body and soul
Won't you

Lord
I won't be long now
If you are waiting
I am not afraid to die

Have mercy, Lord
I'm told it's paradise
To have and to hold you

Lord
I must be strong now
I don't belong now
In this world anymore

Lord
I won't be long now
If you are waiting
I am not afraid to die

-Madeleine Peyroux

Empty

She lifts her skirt up to her knees,
walks through the garden rows with her bare feet, laughing.
I never learned to count my blessings,
I choose instead to dwell in my disasters.
I walk on down the hill,
through grass, grown tall and brown
and still its hard somehow to let go of my pain.
On past the busted back of that old and rusted Cadillac
that sinks into this field, collecting rain.
Will I always feel this way?
So empty, so estranged.

And of these cut-throat busted sunsets,
these cold and damp white mornings
I have grown weary.
If through my cracked and dusted dime-store lips
I spoke these words out loud would no one hear me?
Lay your blouse across the chair,
let fall the flowers from from your hair
and kiss me with that country mouth, so plain.
Outside, the rain is tapping on the leaves,
to me it sounds like they're applauding us the the quiet love we've made.
Will I always feel this way?
So empty, so estranged.

Well I looked my demons in the eyes,
laid bare my chest, said "Do your best, destroy me.
You see, I've been to hell and back so many times,
I must admit you kind of bore me."
There's a lot of things that can kill a man,
there's a lot of ways to die,
listen, some already did that walked beside me.
There's a lot of things I don't understand,
why so many people lie.
Its the hurt I hide that fuels the fire inside me.
Will I always feel this way?
So empty, so estranged.

-Ray Lamontagne

Mama

"When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, whispering words of wisdom, let it be."

-McCartney/Lennon

I know it looks like I'm moving

Every so often I come back around. Last night one of my best friends I have ever made in my young life so far, moved away. We spent the better part of our last hours together listening to each others songs, plugging in one another's iPod's as we saw the time dwindle towards departure.

I told Shams about how nearly a decade ago I can remember weeping to this song....and then subsequently at various points thereafter when I would come back around to putting this song into rotation. Last night however, my tears were softer as we shared listening to this song, I came back around to a place I like being emotionally and spiritually.

I want you, unsuspecting internet passer-by (should you have read this self indulgent stranger thus far) to take few minutes to stop, about ten if you read me and then listen to this song. Sharing our experience is so important. When someone leaves, what is leaving is the ability to share together in the ways you do - even though those ways grow you to share together in different ways. It's all transient, so what makes the sweet sting of departure a loss? Alas, I am but Socrates without a student here, I will postulate no true answer alone it seems...

Every time, after the week began taxing me, my meetings with Shams would bring me to a reality. I would find my own skin and realize it was better than I even knew! Shams lives forever, and though my sweet brother James has moved, Shams will live on when we speak on the reg and visit one another. A brother so close that I swear he was cut out of the same womb that formed me; of course, that is par for the course with Shams.

Different cries and different times. It's that reality of my life that all coming will pass - though I suspect at sometime a few will remain - or at least we can safely say appear to stay, since time is always "running away". Luckily, I don't feel like my soul has turned to steel anymore. It is an interesting apathy that sets in. Us reasonable adults are very, very funny creatures.

I could write forever today, bleed in emotions and thought as they wrestle in loving embrace. I guess I just still want to share experiences with some people, even if I know that we have completely separate lives. The way Shams leaves, leaves hope and appreciation and makes parting more than just bitter, but bittersweet - it is always thusly right?

Amen for Shams living on in my brother Tim; our trinity was marvelous, and I cried again after James left because it became clear how well God (call it circumstance and chance if you wish) takes care of me. I, an only child, was surrounded with such loving brothers as only great poetry can hint towards; then again, awed at how James & Tim came into my life, Shams told me to burst open like this

I hope you will laugh with me loudly, because you see my writing in circles. It's time to be alone again.

Love you Shams, show Philly what brotherly love means, we will see you soon.

Shadows are falling and I’ve been here all day
It’s too hot to sleep, time is running away
Feel like my soul has turned into steel
I’ve still got the scars that the sun didn’t heal
There’s not even room enough to be anywhere
It’s not dark yet, but it’s getting there

Well, my sense of humanity has gone down the drain
Behind every beautiful thing there’s been some kind of pain
She wrote me a letter and she wrote it so kind
She put down in writing what was in her mind
I just don’t see why I should even care
It’s not dark yet, but it’s getting there

Well, I’ve been to London and I’ve been to gay Paree
I’ve followed the river and I got to the sea
I’ve been down on the bottom of a world full of lies
I ain’t looking for nothing in anyone’s eyes
Sometimes my burden seems more than I can bear
It’s not dark yet, but it’s getting there

I was born here and I’ll die here against my will
I know it looks like I’m moving, but I’m standing still
Every nerve in my body is so vacant and numb
I can’t even remember what it was I came here to get away from
Don’t even hear a murmur of a prayer
It’s not dark yet, but it’s getting there

I've forgotten who I am - and 'The Pursuit of Dreams'

I wrote this about a year and a half ago.

The album version has strings and trumpets and feels much fuller in it's expression. I cried in the last two lines of this song while recording it. Something hit me. Before we started recording it, a dove flew into the chimney, and after quite some time, it wouldn't leave - with three adults behind it - when I was done singing and opened the door to get air for the tears in my eyes, the dove flew out.

I had a few hours to spend how I wished on Saturday so I recorded this song since it's been a while I've recorded a song. It's long and so I cut it down to the end, plus it's a teaser which lacks the trumpets and horns and strings that really bring the song to life closer to the way it was intended.

These online videos and blogs and social network sites are little windows - keyholes - to reference 'She Belongs to Me' by Bob Dylan (which is what I learned to play before recording this song). Digital keyholes, tiny peeks into what another's space and life seems to look like - giving some indication while simultaneously being wholly something subjective and myopic. Little keyholes.

Hope you enjoy your peek, click through the video and get a free download if you'd like (you'll be redirected to Facebook in the description).

She Belongs To Me

She's got everything she needs

She's an artist, she don't look back
She's got everything she needs
She's an artist, she don't look back
She can take the dark out of nighttime
And paint the daytime black.

You will start out standing
Proud to steal her anything she sees
You will start out standing
Proud to steal her anything she sees
But you will wind up peeking through her keyhole
Down upon your knees.

She never stumbles
She's got no place to fall
She never stumbles
She's got no place to fall
She's nobody's child
The Law can't touch her at all.

She wears an Egyptian red ring
That sparkles before she speaks
She wears an Egyptian red ring
That sparkles before she speaks
She's a hypnotist collector
You are a walking antique.

Bow down to her on Sunday
Salute her when her birthday comes
Bow down to her on Sunday
Salute her when her birthday comes
For Halloween buy her a trumpet
And for Christmas, buy her a drum.

- Bob Dylan

My Dear

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful, and so are you, Dear Prudence; won't you come out to play?

Presently untitled song

The nighttime’s cold
So baby hold me close
And won't you warm my skin
Before the day breaks in

My prayer is song
Where my heart belongs
Flames break across
So my hope’s ain't lost

Cause it’s an unseen breeze
That's breathin’ in me
It’s a heart aflame
That's burning bright as day
And I’ve lost my way
Forgotten who I am
And all I know
Is I’ll be born again

Volcanoes erupt
Fire fills my cup
The curtain comes down
Silence breaks the sound

Cause it’s an unseen breeze
That's breathin’ in me
It’s a heart aflame
Burning bright as day
Cause I’ve lost my way
I've forgotten who I am
And all I know
Is I’ll be born again

-K. Singh & The Freshwater

An Ode to Lily Potter

Lily, oh Lily Potter whose patronus was a beautiful stag / loved her but I never kissed her she's the best friend I ever did have/ now all I can do is watch o'er the one she loved cause no one can know, how deep my love does go/ for Lily, oh Lily Potter the best friend I ever did have.

Lily, oh Lily Potter met her when I was young/ had some real magic in her didn't know where it came from/ told her about a world where witches and wizards were/ and I was delighted to hear that I'd be going to school with her/ Lily, oh Lily Potter whose patronus was a beautiful stag.

But as time wore on, oh we grew apart/ didn't like my growing interest in the dark arts/ so I asked her Lily, oh Lily whose it gonna be and to this day I wish she'd chosen me/ cause Lily, oh Lily Potter was the best friend I ever did have.

Lily, oh Lily Potter was married to a man named James/ gave birth to a beautiful boy had her green eyes on his face/ and I been hard on him for the better part of my days/ had to wait till the end to tell him I'd love him always/ cause Lily, oh Lily Potter was the best friend I ever did have.

-Karan Singh & The Freshwater

www.Facebook.com/TheFreshwaterMusic

Love is the Coal.

When You Fall (The Great Lie)

Thanks to Charles Van Dine for recording a little snippet of this performance for me.

You can watch it in HD on YouTube.

You can purchase the song on iTunes.

You can tell me what you think on www.facebook.com/thefreshwatermusic

In a Little While

Listen, I don't care how it looks, i'm not this fat...I'm not sayin...I'm just sayin I'm not saying.

But mostly I hope you enjoy the lyrics. Lyrically, this is one of my favorite personal songs. Very quotable to oneself, at least quietly.

Check it out.

"Just cause you'll be a good wife, don't mean you're a good wife for me. just cause i'll be a good father, don't mean we start a family. i'm warning you baby so if you don't mind just give me your heart and let me break it in a little while

Just cause I make you laugh don't mean i'll be good to you. just cause you think you know me, darling don't make it true i'm warning you baby so if you don't mind just give me your heart and let me break it in a little while

Just cause you're beautiful don't mean you're pretty just cause we ain't imprisoned, darling don't make us free i'm warning you baby so if you don't mind just give me your heart and let me break it in a little while just give me your heart and let me break it in a little while"

- Karan Singh & The Freshwater

www.facebook.com/TheFreshwaterMusic

When the sounds of end come

When you get all you wanted and the world becomes small you’ll see a moments blinded and a shadow standing tall saying come back home son there’s more to do son don’t forget where you been love and that this too will end when the sands have shifted and your flesh strikes the grain time sits like a mountain while the wind howls in the refrain saying come back home son there’s more to do son don’t forget where you’ve been love and that this too will end and when our tears come like waves we crash on reminding us it’s all been building to every moment we lived and so you come back home son cause there’s more left to do love and we break through to freedom as the sounds of the end come we done lived a full life a thousand days and forty nights it’s our time before it’s gone so we learn slow what we want and we come on back home son when there’s no more to do son remember where we’ve been love cause this too will end.

-Karan Singh & The Freshwater

Soar

"My baby lives on Mad River, while my wife stays on Paragon Road/ And I wonder if they'd ever tell each other about me, or live a lie just to have a man comin' home.

My baby oh she's sleepin' on Mad River, while my wife, she's cryin' on Paragon Road/ And I wonder if they'll remember me in the mornin' or will the evening bring 'em another man that they could take home.

My baby oh she's prayin' on Mad River, while my wife, raises our child on Paragon Road/ And I wonder if I could ever walk away, clean and smilin', or will this all end like it done before

My baby now she's yellin' on Mad River, while my wife locked the doors on Paragon Road, and I wonder if they've spoken what they could have said about me, that I was a fool for love, with a heart of stone.

My baby now she's gettin married on Mad River, while my wife packs up on Paragon Road/ And I wonder if they'll ever come and find me where I lay now - six feet below the Ohio snow"

- An Original Song by Karan Singh & The Freshwater written over a year ago! Wow, how time flies.

www.Facebook.com/TheFreshwaterMusic

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Howl in the new year!