Ye meri thadee thee yesterday, aur meri thadee ye sobaa mai.
On monday I began feeling like I was living someone else's life. Walking around in their body, my arms moving when theirs do, my eyes seeing what they look at, my ears hearing what they listen to - but I haven't chosen yet to speak when they talk; and sometimes they do not hear me because they're too focused elsewhere.
I can always hear this man think, and feel what he feels, but I am apart from that feeling and I am apart from his thoughts.
"I don't know what face I'm wearing. This face doesn't feel like mine."
He knows it's his, but he doesn't know whose it is anymore, he doesn't know who he is I guess, or rather who he's become, or what he's becoming - only that it's happening and he thinks that it is good, that it is from You, God. He knows I have no answers for him, and I don't know if one day I will or not - depends on his questions I guess; but anyways -
He validates that with the turn to being a child, he validates it with forgetting himself like children don't know themselves; being so unconcerned with his definition of himself like children are. He also worries that he's losing his mind, then I can hear him laugh because he's getting what he wanted, he's getting his Madness. This even makes me laugh for him, or happy for him I guess.
He is us, or he is me, but I am not him; this is probably a little pre-mature to try and describe - I've only been aware I'm here for about a week.
Ap ko maloom ye kasay hoo-tha hai Nanu? Apko kabi asay hoo'ha, kay hootha hai? Kay Ho'gya thaa, aur nai thoo ho'gya hai? Mai soochtha hoo kay ye meri atma hai meray unther. Aap boloo ji.
Kabbi Kabbi my husstha be Ji.
Iss thasveer may mai paanch minute paylai othaa. Kya dhiktha hoo na? hahahahaha.
I love you Nanu.
I love you Mummy.
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