Here we go!

"I" has declared all out war on "me" - and other internal conversations of a crazy...

My only lack of peace is in the possibility of not being here on the if & maybe. Of course sadness functions still, but on a whole other level I am not concerned with trying to fix. The lack of peace however is the only emotional hurdle to enacting my plan for ending this period (1999-2009) and starting the next decade in the best way I can with the reality I live in now - and so it must be overcome; "I" has declared attack - the "me" will not win; and with every moment lived thusly - the war is already won.

Let me express where this lack of peace comes from which the "me" has pressed upon my consciousness all day - the "me" takes the holy desire of "I" which is to be available (that is from love) and scares itself (or has been trying to) into not doing what the "I" should for itself. It's so insidious! It is so funny! It is such an idiot! Do you see what I'm saying? The "me" takes something born from love and tries denying the "I" a healthy self-love because of it's own "me" fears; trying to justify itself by touting failingly that it is still the original desire from love! HA! It is incredulous and would be shocking to me if I hadn't seen it a hundred and fifty thousand gabillion times before - (Gabillion is a lot ps).

In using the original desire as a justification it has already twisted that love and shown its diseased hand! Oh Co-dependent sickly "me" - do you not know you can fool "I" no longer?

Practically speaking - so that this note 'from the trenches of experience' may assist you in observing your own experience - with the grace of God in this joyful unrest, I am able to relax and press through. Healthy Joy is Madness to most everyone else - no doubt about it.

To wrap up this post, I am ending this period and starting the next by the 'holy action' of taking a trip with, and from, solitude - something I thought I would be unable to do not just logistically (didn't know I had time off) but moreso psychologically and emotionally; as usual, little did I know that God was bringing about a spirituality that could tackle, blanket, and purify all that. The "me's" fear of this choice is what has been pressing on me all day trying to say the "I" is not loving. What an asshole right!? Ego, the ultimate douche.

But it's not all that dramatic really, it has just been a declaration of war on my unhealthy self and that creates unease - but if I press through in this moment, I will learn to live abundantly in future moments. The soul must be purified and so denies the ego its reign of fear.

It is all 'Up in the air' and that's the best life can offer us truly - a blessed cloud of unknowing which we can only breath deeply in faith and walk into. So here goes something, and at least it is not 'nothing' which is all the over protective ego will ever leave us should we listen to it.

I am excited to share with you the outcomes of the experience - and should I somehow find a Wi-Fi connection, I may even be able to post something for you. Ah who am I kidding, I'm positive I'll find a Wi-Fi connection if I want to. Well whatever, we'll see what I do, just as long as it's the authentic me it'll all be fine.

Happy new year -

Karan

The show has been cancelled - thank God!

Dear friends and readers -

Hope the day has found you well. This will read quicker than it looks and many of you may already be living this truth.

To keep with an article a day I am forcing the following musing out - I believe it will still be enjoyable. Please note that I am giving myself a break from the rigidity of an article a day till January 4th; so maybe you could use that time to peruse the older articles - there's some really fun and interesting stuff there too yo! But again, the ugly parents child sees a supermodel so you decide for yourself if it's 'fun' or 'interesting'...

Let me try and relay one more mystery that was unveiled to me today through the moment by moment experience of the authentic being. The difference between 'sharing' & 'showing'...

The former comes from love, and is a glorious freedom and hearty joy to be a part of - the latter comes from fear and sucks to witness. One is authentic whilst the other a lie...(of sorts - its fear so some part of your real being is in there just all covered with the bile of fear)

'Sharing' comes from acceptance, whilst 'Showing' comes from defensiveness.

Often those who are 'sharing' are ridiculed by those who are trapped 'showing' - for those with closed eyes cannot understand what those with open eyes are describing....

This can be also expressed with Plato's "Allegory of the Cave" - such a replete source and so timeless! When the man goes back down to describe the sun and the world and the reality, those former friends of his jeer at him for they are still convinced the shadows on the cave wall are reality. The chained are those who would still be 'showing', while those "lucky" enough to be free are simply 'sharing'.

I think I've made my point as much as I'd like, and probably more than required as you readers seem to comprehend my splintered writing very well - thank you for your kind feedback! The main thing about this little musing is it speaks to that reality which betrays the futility of the surface of things...

Both these acts can look very very similar - I know, I used to 'show' (said with only the slightest embarrassment for I am not speaking with that idiots mouth and mind anymore). As I was broken of my bondage to self (the chains which keep us in the cave) I questioned my intention at most every turn - never wanting to delude myself again; really you are broken free of this bondage at every conscious moment - it is not an "event" but a process; further even, a process whose outcome is of no concern! Ha!

A part of that change dawned on me today when I realized I wasn't putting on a show for anyone ever anymore - it's the most liberating thing. In literally no situation do I act this way - even at my job as a salesman I have not this capability - something (I call it God) has taken it away from me. It's remarkable and I thank God for being so kind (as always in all things) to give me the eyes to see this little present he created called "I". Like someone cleaning up an old house, I come home and my blessed Father has redone the flooring I had ruined trying to 'fix'! Or something - you know what I'm saying!

Second to last, let me betray that still sometimes fear whispers that my action will be perceived as 'showing' vs. the reality of what it is; especially by those whom my ego has jaded by the crimes it had once my ignorant hand to perpetrate with; but even that is again ego (Gollum from LOTR man!) and I don't really give a shit about what evil little ego says - he can have no voice at all; he's my hearts slave and that's all he's ever meant to be...can you tell I don't like him? Well, you should too - don't give the fucker an inch, he will destroy your life, I promise you.

Moving on to finish the topic - the belief that Truth will always stand firm, and if not now, then someday triumph, is really a sweet solution to that irritating ego's voice (ego is fear, to rid fear tap into love - this belief must come from love and not a desire to rid away the fear, for that is just ego again! Ha!) - plus being aware but not concerned of it is really all required (and really all that we human beings are truly meant to do! Isn't it awesome! I know!).

A lot of what I'm relaying will drastically change your actions if adopted, assuredly; its just natural they will, and from experience I can tell you they will - but you won't realize it till after the fact - and also only if God (as I call it) allows you the grace to see it. However much more will seem the same on the surface, yet the depth is wholly different. It's like painting wood red, and then painting cement red - they may both look red to someone, but one is weak while the other will break he who tries to go through it...

So quit 'showing' anything, for your own good. Think the sin of vanity - it's sinful because it trips up our ability to be happy - and vanity in anything; especially spiritual vanity which I am always scared will be mistakenly perceived in what I am sharing - actually that's why I keep saying how much it has nothing to do with me (us) because if any point should stick from these little man's writings is that we have nothing to do with anything but to moment by moment get out of the way and let God (as I call Him) do whatever it is that he does. This is simply not about you and me, the "I" who lives eternal is all that matters - some would call this "I" by a different name...Soul...

Hopefully you see this blog as 'sharing', and don't defend against it by deeming it 'showing' - but if you do, there is little else I can, or frankly will do about it. For if I attempt to 'show' any of you differently - I have already lost the very battle I am describing and writing against! Ha! Man the world is so funny. Reality is so beautiful, I just want to share it so badly - but even that reality is so beautiful! Hahahahahaha.

Happy new year, and new decade! Go be yourselves and lets meet beyond everything else; beyond all fear and doubt and joy and affection; lets meet there, for there we may fall at each others feet and none shall be able to discern "the loved from the beloved" - Rumi

With affection,

Karan

More on The Fountain (The Fountain: Part Two)

Wow right...

I know, I initially wanted to write it all in one article, but the article "I'm going to die [laughing]" stands purer the way it is.

But anyhow, there is too much to say and to feel, so let me be basic. Think of what you are reading here as an entirely separate blog entirely (besides it being so now) because I have not the ability to write enough about this film and screenplay and soundtrack and acting and philosophy and amazing and continual impact and so on and so on....

If you have never seen Darren Aronofsky's 'The Fountain' - and even if you have - give it time and live with the characters again, I swear to you this is some of the best advice I have ever taken. Did you know Brad Pitt was originally supposed to play the character of Tommy? Bleh.

watch it.

go.

watch it watch it watch it.

"I'm going to die" [laughing] - (The Fountain: Part One)

We are almost there.

Together we will live forever.

Silence speaks superfluously - Ha!

"There are things that the heart feels, but that words and even thoughts can't manage to express" - St. Therese of Lisieux [The Story of a Soul]

"Just because one receives the spiritual consolation of the prayer of quiet or is completely absorbed in God in the prayer of union does not mean one is a saint. Since the Spirit's action is therapeutic, it may mean we are so sick that we need special attention!" - Thomas Keating [Intimacy with God]

Clearly I am no saint, it almost feels stupid to have to write that - but I must try and represent accurately what I am choosing to share - though even my thoughts oft fail me...

If you have been following this blog at all, you will know by now that I have been practicing, and practice by every moment (even as I watch myself type now), the blessed observation of the self by the Self. Nothing is quite like it and it is a pure Grace from God to be able to do it so consistently - but us whom are so sick need that kind of special attention!

I was astonished at myself today, I will not explain why, though one day I may have the allowance to share the details of this period of remarkable consolation. But let me share at least one of my prayers (in word) from this period that you may see the power of this practice and may be inspired to attempt it yourselves. It's easy! Just let all trying and striving go - everything you ever wanted or thought or think, spiritually or world centered- just let it all fall away and you will see what has been weighing shut the eyes of your heart! And what you will see with open eyes is the most vividly beautiful of worlds! Ha! I just can't explain it dude! It is very literally awe inspiring. You will not stagnate (for your ego must bring you this worry I assume) but move with a great rapidity to action - for the desires thereafter will spring forth directly from where God resides in yourself! Your most authentic being will be able to dance more lively as it has wished for years now...but maybe that's just me - either way, I don't really know anything, I'm little. Moving on -

In hopes of sharing this experience with you my friends, the agreed futility of language and especially an online relationship must be understood and accepted as an inherent barrier one must attempt to look past.

I can think of no better way to share this experience with you who have not been around me for sometime than to share with you one of my prayers. I write till my hand cramps, for God has seen it good for me that I may navigate the canals of my being through this means; at the end it leads to a silence and reflection that seems to me much like the prayer of quiet Keating speaks about. The written prayer to me is like the foyer into the house of quiet prayer - it's the steps I oft must yet take - or maybe it's my handicapped ramp...

In any event. For you Joe, and Jordan and Billy (though you sit near me daily) and my friends from the theatre that know little yet about my being and more my ability for character (through no fault of yours but my own inability thus far); for you my friends I have never yet met but speak to online and those others of you who knew me at the beginning stages of this journey when my ego was yet forming in North Dakota! Ha! Those of you who have witnessed the destruction of that ego in the rise of my true self and commented with such kindness on it for me; for those of you I will maybe never be able to experience in person and share the experience of my authentic being in person, and those others who still do not have eyes and see only another bloated bag of self discovery filled with hot-air; for all of you my friends, I will share the only thing I really end up doing anymore in all my thoughts and steps - my prayer.

It is often just quiet, usually actually (by Grace of God to us most sickly!), but on some days, as today when I am astonished by my own growth - as if to be watching someone else respond in a different and remarkably surprising way than I have seen them respond ever before-on days like this, I am blessed to be able to use my absolute failing language and illegible handwriting to record a passing moment of my eternal union with God.

Let me say that a voice of ego questions if once you see who I am, that you will like me anymore at all? Though I may write here and oft speak superfluously even in discussion, the quiet within me is a very different thing. A wave I will never dare to try and transform into a box of water for you by capturing it. I hope to share with you my friends, no matter how far away you are - and some of you are in different countries! Ha! For it is a pleasure to be with the good that is the only reality within me, and it is so marvelous, that from it springs forth a desire to experience you all in your fullness. That I see this joy in me by Grace for the sick, is why I desire so deeply to experience all of you all over again, for my eyes are opened to the joy in you - and I will be amazed to discover the treasures in your oceans when my own smeared lens is shattered at our God's feet (even if you don't call him your God - call Him what you want, it matters very very very little - in fact, it doesn't matter at all frankly!)

Finally, to put in better context the genesis of my prayer - please read the following:

"...Oh! If God hadn't lavished His kindly rays on His little flower, she would never have been able to become acclimated to the earth. She was still too weak to endure rain and storms; she needed warmth, gentle dew, and springtime breezes. She never went without these blessings; Jesus caused her to find them, even underneath the snows of trials!" - St. Therese of Lisieux [Story of a Soul]

The consistent hum of prayer in me sprang forth with a greater fervor after I read that passage and what I was able to record briefly before prayer took my person over and laid my pen down for me that I might enjoy more acutely some of those rays St. Therese is speaking of I share with you now my dear friends. I hope to be able to share the reality of our person hood together again should it be given to us. And incase you were worried, I am still kinda funny still; but who knows how long that will last? or if it will get even greater? Ha! Who Cares!!! I also am far more accepting, so I'm sure you'll enjoy that....um, and I still love fashion - though you from my time in North Dakota know nothing of that aspect of my personality - Hahahahahaha.

Thank you for letting me share my prayer.

"Thank you God for letting me feel the sting, violence, haunting silence, and visions Winter offers. There are so many allegories comparing trials to passing through winter months; by your allowance of my experience my Lord, you have found it pleasurable to give me a first hand account that I may better understand what many great Saints and mystics say about the nature of trial.

That you brought me from tropical weather at such a young age to be able to see this! Ha! How sick I have been for such drastic medication my God. Thank you, I will moment by moment try best to serve you, to please you, by allowing you to do what it is with me you desire.

Thank you for the grace to be able to do even this little thusly Father; that even my service bring me great consolations! Ha! How sick I must be!"

I am unsure of how to end this, I mean I just showed you one of the most intimate things I ever could - Ha! But I guess to say that for having little to say these days, the expression of experience takes many more words than I feel comfortable with. But I hope it does some good to share it, for that is the main reason I want to share anything. For you who have solely by the Grace of God for me, helped me learn and grow so much whether you've known it or not.

Part Two of the 'Ego' blog is soon to follow as I have taken some time off work to enjoy the end of this year. In the interim I may post some fun videos for you to enjoy. I don't know, I don't know anything anymore. It's awesome. Watch Kung-Fu Panda, there, now I feel like I've given something that I know you will enjoy.

Karan

Passion Pit

I dig this song. I listened to it a few times today and checked out the video a second ago. I was concerned the video would ruin the song, and though it gave me a bit of an eye strain (maybe not the videos fault?) it totally kept the spirit of the song in check. phew. crisis averted.

Enjoy!

Suddenly, at the O.K. Corral...

So a few days ago I was just ramblin' 'bout my business; slowly floating about this way and that - I don't even know what I was doing, some mixture of tidying up and laundry and guitar pickin'. Anyhow, I stopped to stare out at the snow for a while, breath it in with my eyes and the silence about me (but for the hum of my central air).

Well what do you think I saw out there but this little guy...

Just out there diggin on plastic trash bags and jumping around frantically trying to get into the trash can. Then, alas! I had been spotted - suddenly, his little frolic stopped...he knew he was not alone. "Who was this figure peering out seemingly lifeless? What did he want? Was he alone or does he have unseen backup? Is he here for the trash? Well he can't have it - unless he could help me get in it - No! Never! I can't trust him - he must want the trash as bad as me." So I imagine the squirrel to think, or at least find it fun to imagine it - I don't think he was thinking anything, just reacting like a squirrel...like you know - all nuts...

We had a bit of a staring contest - one could fantasize western music playing softly somewhere in the distance; a preverbial tumbleweed bounced by (it didn't, it was cold, nothing was moving anywhere but brittle tree branches in soft and freezing breeze). He had a little squirrel gun - but he didn't want to show his cards. I didn't have a gun, but I knew he didn't know that. I walked away hoping he'd stay so I could capture some shade of the intensity we were sharing through out death stares. A second later - flash, flash, flash - the deed was done (as you can see below); pictures taken, no guns bared, stare maintained...success.

We still weren't satisfied, we kept our stare down. I leaned in towards my glass door smiling at him like a crazy person (because I'm a little squirrel too you know...just a little nuts! ha!). He ran - fast, sort of expected right? But he'll be back, he better, cause I love that little guy; we gave each other a totally intense and special moment. I might put out some food for him, but probably not because then I'd have a situation on my hands. I will however never steer him away from making a mess of my trash, I'll just happily clean up his mess. Like being a dad. Or just a pal. Now we're getting too serious. Feels like a weekend doesn't it? I'll let you know if I see him today, I hope I do, he's like my little friend, I always smile when I see him - and its fun to think that he gets excited seeing me too. Even though we both hide our affection under our death stares. Tell me he doesn't love me, dare you -

I can think of little better

Last night I was gifted something terrific...

Heaven on Earth!

Man, Woman, and bow-tie

You know its okay to dress nicely and groom yourself? Really - I don't know where from came the flat out lie that it was somehow 'un-masculine' to do thus. In fact, if you are a man, anything you do authentically becomes 'manly' - same for womanhood and femininity. There is no archetype more perfect for us to strive towards than our most authentic selves. So in a philosophical discussion, if some coffee drinking philosophaster asks sublimely with a far away gaze - "What is man? What is woman?"; the authentic person may say concretely, "I am".

"I am the Great I am" (Exodus 3:14), or "I am who I am" (depending on translation) makes a lot more sense to me in this light.

- Moving on!

If you are a woman, whatever you do from your most authentic being is feminine. Shave your head, be interested in body-building, cook for your family - whatever! As long as it's your authentic Self you are woman and we shall hear your roar.

If you are a man, go ahead and wear a bow tie everyday, express yourself through fashion, cut down an oak tree with just your fingertips - whatever! As long as it's from your authentic Self - it's very manly...you stud.

The rise of the modern day Gentleman.

And I mean that, the rise of the Gentleman - around the world; at least if anything, I'm raising my boys to be thus; and/or teaching my girls to spot thus!

So with all that being said, I personally realized how much I like fashion aside from anything attached to it. I just like dressing up, I don't know why and thank God for the fact that I don't know. It just comes from my little heart. And as I look into it I seem to be on point. Like I have desired the usual and causal use of the bow tie for about two years and it took me (the 1st time) 1 hr and 15 (or 45) min to learn how to tie one. But I wasn't going to be stopped, I want my little boys to know this art too. Fashion can be a picture of the past and a reliving of it in many ways - the same, but never quite the same. The bow tie evokes the 20's gentleman to me, it reminds me of manners and of class and of good posture and a host of other things that I found swimming about my heart when I sank deeper into that part of it.

I don't want to talk about the injustice in the world right now - but know that it presses on my mind continually, like literally everything I do I think about how someone is dying of starvation - or worse yet being "saved" from that starvation and being sold as slaves. Then to think that some of those slaves make my bow tie, or my shirt, or my hat or my shoes. I can't imagine it and it's a different topic that will always take precedence till I begin truly affecting the change I wish to see in the world (like Gandhi said - he's my dude you know, we go to indian parties in the spirit world, you can't come).

So [sigh] keep that in mind I guess; nothing really takes precedence in its light.

And last but not at all least! Check this video out - I've been hunting it down for like two weeks to be able to embed it in my blog for you. Be yourself, the woman will roar, the Gentleman will rise again, and we'll all be very happy with how we look. Maybe from that happiness will flow our lack of self concern to be able to finally help others! Ah! Its sickens me, i can't talk about it, watch the video, its awesome.

Judgement

I drop my hammer and vice.

There is a half carved image I have no room for.

Danger Will Robinson

I've written a lot in the last few days about the pleasure of observing oneself; it is not all sunshine and unicorns...

That's an important point because if you've been trying any of it, you become derailed the moment you feel attached to the serenity - suddenly perverting it and losing your throne of observation; and yes, that quickly - and all the time! Consciousness to start is a very focused awareness, but I think (and am told) it becomes habit over time.

Everyday my friends, I still have about two, or three - and I guess sometimes maybe more, I don't quite know - pockets where I am very sad. I have had to excuse myself to go cry or it becomes very hard for me to keep up in a conversation, I tear up at the table or watching a movie or I just lose my appetite in the middle of the meal even though I've not really eaten much to begin with; all that kind of stuff, it happens. Anthony De Mello, the author of the book "Awareness" that I enjoyed a few days ago corroborates what I'm saying here; he warned me like I am warning you. It's an important point. We can't be attached to any feeling, they will come till they come and go as they do regardless, and as our awareness grows we can find more and more joy in any state the 'me' feels - so I'm told and inclined to believe. They're all just passing through, so let them go on by.

What I can say is that I don't identify as closely with the feelings. I feel them, sharply throughout the day, and sometimes if not like a knife, then just a dull piece of shrapnel stuck inside my body. Other times it feels like my body is the wind and the earth and rocks and trees and light and pure energy. Clearly the latter is far more pleasant to me; however, this whole task is to simply observe oneself without any concern or judgement through whatever the 'me' experiences; allowing nature (and what I call God) to do what it does to continue making us who we are - beings of pure (extracted) love.

The Self has nothing to defend against, it's the 'me' that finds so much hurt around. It's the 'me' that feels the loss and the judgement and the fear and the anxiety; all its pain comes from either trying to defend itself or feeling like its not defended and being run through. This ties back to the article entitled 'Of men and boys' from a while back on this blog that talked about the innermost instinct - protection.

"Of Men & Boys" - click through to read the article if you'd like.

The article itself focuses on the instinct of protection in men specifically but it works the same for women - they have there own unique and wonderful ways; but it's the overlap (what we all protect or are taught to fear the loss of and defend) that I'm talking about here.

I cried while typing this - I don't know why, something the 'me' was sad about; well, I know what he was sad about but it's not reality, its his anxiety and his fear. Two emotions behind everything, Fear, or Love - i promise you, just drill deeper no matter what you feel, you'll find this assertion as Truth. I'm only pointing to the same moon someone else did, I am just giving you information I have experienced by their instruction - you have to experience it to believe any of it's accuracy.

So be sad, or be happy, but watch how you are to the best of your ability and maybe it'll all get better for us - or better yet, maybe we won't give two shits how our lives are going and what we want and what we need and what we require and how we'd like things to be and blah blah blah endless concern; maybe, eventually, with enough observation, everything will just burn itself off our hearts, God will work without us in the way, and we'll be able to love love love. The Beatles said that's all we need and I'm inclined to believe them. And this thinking is having a resurgence, a new movie 'Greenberg' coming out soon seems to have something to do about this - tell you after I watch it.

Love as action. Love as instruction. Love as activity! Love as Reality! Not only love love love lets hold hands and gaze (though that is so wonderful) - but all of it, and all of it based on reality, not our desires and concepts and fears. Embracing the life you never planned - finally!

I don't know how to end for you, its not pleasant, the hurt will just work itself out, the joy will just work itself out; the ups and downs will come and go - the consciousness is the air all those peaks and valleys rise and fall within. I want to say you're not alone, but that's lying to you - you are alone, you will die alone no matter if your family is around your death bed holding your hands and laughing about times past; no matter if you die like the cult members in bunk beds - you do come and go alone. But if you can just push through that reality, allow it to just be without fighting or arguing for it; without allowing yourself to get concerned with if it depresses you or makes you happy - you'll begin what I try literally every morning to do and live from the eternal heart exploding with serene love. Its very hard, you come against a lot of egos that don't get what you're doing or are too concerned for you to happily allow you to cry so much or have difficulty eating; but keep at it, I've been told it gets so much better.

And to quote Nietzsche in hopes of this making any sense "Bad! Bad! What? Is he not going - backwards?' - Yes! But you ill understand him if you complain about it. He goes backwards as everyone goes backwards who wants to take a big jump - " - excerpt from 'Beyond Good and Evil'

I guess I'll leave you with a phrase that helps me continually through out my day. It's something which De Mello and all the mystics and Contemplatives I've studied and am studying talk about - It's very important, or at least has been to me.

Active Passiveness.

With love,

Karan

The Jezebel of Jazz: Thanks for the boogie ride

Anita O'day was born October 18, 1919 in Chicago. She left home at 14 and became a contestant in walk-a-thons as a dancer - touring that circuit for two years and occasionally being called on to sing. Eventually she would work with a ton of different huge Jazz names like Gene Krupa and Benny Goodman - but I've not met many people that know of her.

Anita had a long term problem with heroin and alcohol addiction which led to frequent erratic behavior earning her the nickname "The Jezebel of Jazz" - I don't like that that much because I like her a lot and she almost died of it in 1968 - she rid herself of that habit and began making a come back in 1970.

She maintained that the accidental excision of her uvula during a childhood tonsillectomy left her incapable of vibrato and unable to maintain long phrases; so as necessity being the mother of invention - she said she was forced to develop a more percussive style based on short notes and a rhythmic drive.

Her real name was Anita Belle Colton; she changed her surname from Colton to O'Day because O'Day was pig Latin for "dough" or money and that's why she wanted to be a singer; authentically no-nonsense and direct no matter how she may have been perceived for it - and frankly I really question if the concern of perception for it even entered her mind - who knows? She wanted to sing for money - so that's what she did.

In case you haven't picked up on it - I think she's cool; ha! And maybe because I was so floored when I heard how overtly simple the lyrics she was singing on the radio the other day (a recording from 1942 with Krupa posted in the video below) were; or that her album with Gene Krupa and his big band orchestra played all day Christmas eve and Christmas day for me. She dances all fun and looks like she's having a great time, seems glamorous but accessible- almost kind of weird (which I love)- and she uses her voice in really interesting ways. Plus, she's like the underdog in my eyes because nobody seems to have any idea who she is and it makes no sense to me why she wasn't better known.

So here's to the unsung American lady Jazz singer - Anita O'day.

Thanks for the boogie ride Anita, it really was great.

"That's all there is, there isn't anymore!"