Who's there?

Play the song below as you read this.

I've lost fathers and lovers and uncles and lots of people. I think most people have loss they can recall. The world is lost as we get it, eventually to lose the living world itself, to death.

Sometimes the imagination desires a person come, and find us somewhere in the future, while of course, others we hope never return to knock - but in quiet moments, maybe we even wish to see them. I know I do usually. Maybe even just to validate the relationship that once was. Love is eternal to me, so people like my friend Matt, if ever to knock at my door, I would probably cry in a blast of emotions no few words would express. Any of the now ghosts I guess. That our love was real, not just mine. Of course all that matters is how I love and if I loved, whether they did or not is not in question - that's co-dependency as affected by immaturity when we expect everyone to be as loyal as our parents - which ironically is further demanded if we have absent parents; in the end, God is the only one who is and to whom we may be so loyal - but old habits die hard, and make quite a fuss as they go.

With some whimper (as such the world we know ends) I sigh that this may be or may not, as we move in one direction, and change never ceases; one of the only consistencies in life is movement; stillness is death - literally.

Music can touch the magic in us, the magic that still exists all over in everything, but that most of us can't hold up because the suffering on the present becomes too great. I think that's a large part of maturity, learning to hold the past as frozen, along with the future as a vacuum, and the present as all that exists - for such is real. All while simultaneously upholding our belief in Magic. This is why I postulate belief in God is increasingly difficult for the generations as we've seen - we've all become more childish expecting, expecting, expecting - and blaming, blaming, blaming when disappointed ( a cover for hurt and a further fear of our fears being confirmed). This is my thinking, but I"m young - even if I was on my death bed...

This song, coming up on random on my iPod touches that old magic for me, the magic that sometimes feels like dark magic that won't die. I imagine myself reading in my condo, and then a knock. The door opens and someone I loved dearly stands there, humble enough and loving enough (ergo free of erratic fear, but respectful to our individuality) to put themselves back out and see their old friend, or son, or lover; for nothing but to behold the others presence.

Currently I'm not mature enough in all situations to handle any old ghost showing up, but certain ghosts I could allow to re-materialize. The knock on my cranium from the inside reminds me that reality and romantic fantasy are very, very different. I quickly dispense of the day dream and concern myself with my present. This song playing off into the distance as a gang of musicians walks over the horizon, leaving a reminder that magic is still alive and when we least expect it sometimes, if people allow their hearts to flourish, we may hear a knocking...or may become able to knock ourselves.

Hope you enjoy the little magic spell Vetiver frequently casts and really all good music is a magic spell...magic spells are all around us, words, scenery, laughter, and on and on - but we'll reserve that topic for another time.

Miss you ghosts, glad to have you in my life when I did. Good luck in your ghost worlds, I'm doing well in mine right now.

karan

(and this videos awesome too ps)

I can't believe that you're knocking,
knocking on my door
Oh, it's been so long, been so long

I can't believe that you're knocking,
knocking on my door
Oh, it's been so long, been so long
Fate has a way of showing
on where you belong
Oh, it's been so long, been so long

Sound of my heart's stopping
A surprising stop
It's been so long, been so long
Time has a way of knowing
what we have is strong
Oh, it's been so long, been so long