Zimmy

I just miss him today. Been missing him a few days, it's been brewing for weeks and weeks. I started playing because of him you know. An uncountable amount of other people started b/c of him too, and people not even born yet. I see an old friend, but you don't know what I mean, especially if you think you do; really I'm just being private.

The song was 'Don't Think Twice It's Alright'

- and I picked up a guitar and decided to learn to play without a pick (the song is mostly all fingers I think, guitar, voice and words - aaannnd amazing). In fact only about a year ago I decided to start learning to use a pick while playing. It was my own verson of 'going electric'. My own 'Newport Folk Festival' - the little history of ourselves we keep.

I've met people who in trying to find themselves, just found refuge in trying to be Bob

I was guilty of it in my late teens. Luckily, it just didn't work - at all. Bob himself would've hated that (even though he did it with Guthrie). However anyone trying to be Bob, or trying to be anybody will deny it - that's a part of it. It's a lose/lose argument on both ends frankly. In their defense, they actually don't know they're not themselves, I know! I've been there! - But "You don't understand!" - I can almost hear my little teenage boy saying it to me when he's going through this '5th stage of Erikson's development': Identity vs. Role-confusion. They're not faking, they're just not themselves. I'm sad for them b/c I know how that feels, and also that what they really want out of that unconscious mimic isn't there; further, they could have it if they would look at what the more permanent appeal is....

It's a string that runs through all the ones I love.

I suspect it's what sings back to us like a siren in anyone we look up to. "I stand on the shoulders of Giants" - Newton; we all walk around in a world of giants *(especially in developed nations). So when you finally see them in person, the reality of their personhood tugs inside; and the tug is insatiable. It has been to me. What keeps them on stage and me listening? Or them traveling to film in some location, learning horeback riding and fencing while I watch the final work? Them in a cafe day in and day out, or on a beach house writing - and me reading what they put out? To live, and honestly thrive, doing what comes easiest - writing, acting - playing! (easy even when it's hard because that's just the words and work wrestling to come out - and how do we get out of their way is the main issue!).

They do what we wish we could; the true appeal is courage.

That's the line to cross. Logistics, and the thousands of derivatives thereof (for example, emotional and physical, monetary and time-sensitive) - none of that matters, with courage. Not foolishness (Dylan is a child of luck in many many ways) - but the only reason he even had the chance to be lucky? Courage. To truly "Evolve and let the chips fall where they may" - Tyler Durden. To gamble with your life - it's a long shot, but a lot longer if you never pony up to the table; and better to try hard and fail miserably.

Let's gamble wisely as much as possible, keep the inside track - stay close to God. That's the difference between Bob and us, maybe not you, but me...for now. He gambled, and he gambled young - when I was young I didn't have the balls, and I may still not; but now, teetering on the edge of adulthood and youth, it's either 'be quiet and let it go' or 'do something'. This desire to live life getting paid to play, and even becoming better at playing by living thusly. To spread that joy if possible and be a beacon of hope and courage for any lost and lonely. "To spread the Gospel, and if we have to, use words" - St. Francis

God's burden is light, and yolk easy to carry (Para Mat 11:30) - so no matter great fail or little win, what matters the gamble? He wants us to be kids and have courage to "deny ourselves and take up our cross", to not "gain the whole world and forfeit our soul" (Para Mat 16:25-26). To admit that our cross might actually be following our dreams.

"I'm walkin down that ol lonesome road gal/ where I'm bound I can't tell" - Dylan [Don't Think Twice it's Alright]