Witchdoctor reccomends Gluten-free diet

I went to the weirdest doctor today. He’s like a modern American shaman. He’s 72 and incredibly short on the phone but unhesitatingly. He’s not rude, he’s just himself.

He works on kinesiology and chiropractic – I was there for the former based upon recommendation of my more balanced, yet eccentric and experimental therapist.

Apparently I shouldn’t eat gluten. Then he recommends a book – and I’m thinking it’s going to be from some yogi or ancient diet wisdom. Nope, it’s written by a woman from ‘the View’ – and not even Barbara – the annoying blonde one.

He put pill bottles on my belly and asked me to flex various muscles and then tried showing me the logic behind his entirely inexplicable science. I even told him, “I don’t think you were pushing as hard that time” – to question the validity of what he was doing. Like at the end of “Man on the Moon” when Andy Kaufmann realizes the ‘healer’ he’s going to is just pulling out chicken gizzards like a magician with a hat trick.

His office looked like a man who’s created a little world for himself and he was quite strong and well built for 72. His hearing aides had hair poking out beneath them and he was a very cute man. He got me some natural supplements and was very interested in my heritage – trying to claim that that’s one of the reasons I shouldn’t eat gluten.

I told him about how popular Nan’s and Roti’s are in India and that I don’t know if they grow wheat but we do eat a lot of it. He still wanted to believe that rice was the diet mainstay. Anyhow, what else is life if not a long and fun experiment with yourself? So let’s see if my Shaman had any substance behind his claim. If not, it’s still fun to experiment and go into the modern caves of witch doctors.